Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The burning question…

The question that seems to be haunting us right now is “How can we leave our children for 25 days?” Let me draw some parallels for you. For those that have given birth, the hours leading up to delivery and in the midst of delivery (and for c-sections the recovery from delivery) you vow never again to put yourself in that kind of pain. You hold your baby and in the weeks that follow you completely forget the pain you went through. Then you find yourself wanting to do it again. And then you dread the actual delivery part. You know now that things will be ok and that you will survive, but you still have apprehension about the process and the pain. For those that have adopted, as you work through the process and the paperwork and the paperwork and the paperwork and the waiting, you vow never again to put yourself through such torment again. You then meet your child and get home and begin to function as a new family and completely forget the pain you went through. Then you find yourself wanting to do it again. And then you’re in the midst of the process and you remember all of the reasons you said you would NEVER put yourself though this process again. And one of those big reasons for us for not wanting to feel this pain again is leaving our children behind for 25 days. It is sooo hard!

There are some people who ask “How can you leave your children for 25 days?” who are concerned for our emotional wellbeing. Others ask the question because they wonder about the logistics of it. And still others ask the question in a tone that is accusatory and try to make us feel like the most awful parents ever. We are so fortunate to have family and friends who are excited to help out. Brady, Madison, and Blake will get to sleep in their own beds and keep their ‘normal’ routine for the most part. They are excited for all of the fun things that they will get to do when their boring parents aren’t around – lol. They can’t wait for the first time they can see the Little Guy via webcam. So logistically things all work out. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t so very hard on all of us. I think about the military service men and women. They and their families make such a sacrifice for our country. They are gone for many more than 25 days at a time. Then of course there are folks that have to travel a couple days a week for their job. That puts them away from home at least sixty or seventy days out of the year. So I guess one way of looking at our situation is ‘it could be worse’. We have to believe that God would not send us on this journey if He wasn’t going to bless the process. That doesn’t mean there won’t be trials and tribulations, but He has a plan and we are grateful to be a part of it.

(Now back to planning, packing, and hang out with our little people!)

13 comments:

Joel and Clarion said...

Yes, this is indeed the burning question. We're seriously contemplating taking our boys with us for the court trip. I wish they were a bit older and could appreciate it more. I think since we'll (hopefully!) be making trip #2 in the summer, we'll be able to have some nice family time over there, doing many of the things we did as a family while we were there last time on our court trip. We're still praying about it. Lots of factors for sure. It's a blessing indeed to have family who are so supportive of all you go through in journeys such as ours. God bless you guys! We're anxious for your reports from Vlad.

Heather and Chad said...

God would not be leading you on this journey if He did not believe you were doing the very best thing for YOUR family!!! We wish you all the best!!!!!!

Nancy said...

I know exactly what you mean (in the first paragraph). We swore we'd never adopt from Russia again, but we did! And so glad we did.

sonflowerjax said...

I remember saying those words on one of the long grueling flights home- I'll never do this again! And, now, only home 3 months, I already want to go back! Crazy, I know. Literally impossible for at least a few more years...but the desire is there! :) Praying for you guys!!!

sonflowerjax said...

I remember saying those words on one of the long grueling flights home- I'll never do this again! And, now, only home 3 months, I already want to go back! Crazy, I know. Literally impossible for at least a few more years...but the desire is there! :) Praying for you guys!!!

Jody said...

Enjoy every single minute that you have at home! Our time there went by so fast, but then our children were with us. Praying that your time away will fly by!!

threekidchaos said...

Leaving the kids is tough enough without the added guilt from others. You do what needs to be done. Short term hardship for long term gains.

I'm glad the kids are excited - that has to help. I truly think the separation was harder on me than it was the boys. Thinking & praying for you lots this week as you prepare.

Gloria said...

Don't let others rain on your parade. You guys are doing what is best for YOUR family. Yes it is hard to be away for those 25 days but in the end you will all be stonger and so very happy! Skype is great! I could not have lived without it when I stayed in Russia and Kenny came home. It felt like I was there with them and they were with me. Keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers!

Corinne said...

That was one of the Hardest things for me to do !! I felt guitly in some ways but, we had such a wonderful support that it eased my fears a bit. It certainly was difficult but, did feel connected when we were able to talk on Skype everyday !Very exited for you to complete the process !!

Sabrina and Giorgio said...

Please don't feel guilty. I know 25 days feels like a REALLY long time but in the grand scheme of things it's NOT long at all. Take comfort in your decision and you know what's best for your family. We all support you!!

Kathy Reardon said...

Just all part of this crazy journey of international adoption that no one can understand until they have experienced it. Have a safe trip and know that you are doing the right thing to bring your family together. Prayers sent to you!

Laura said...

The wait -- whether it's 25 days or 7 months between trips like we had -- is not easy. But, I always kept my eye on the finish line and knew what joy we had awaiting us. All is perfect in His time and soon your little man will be heading home. YEAH!!

Best wishes as you finish packing up and heading on another trip of a lifetime!

Hugs,
Laura

Jennifer said...

So sweetly written and I remember how much you missed Brady and Madison the last time you were there. I will again miss them I am sure, but be reunited soon with an amazing new addition to your family. How exciting for your entire family. I am sure the kids will be so excited for your return!! God has blessed you and really just think, sometimes it is tough but you are living the dream!!!! So exciting!! Days can be long and boring in Vlad, stay busy, busy, busy!!! Hope you feel better soon and the step clears up in no time! :)