I think empathy has gotten the best of me over the weekend. My heart has been so sad…as if we had our referral already and were waiting to be reunited with him/her. I think the timing of this recent ordeal has what has magnified the emotions. One year ago today Justin and I left Brady and Madison at the Moline airport to head to Moscow and then on to Vlad. I can’t imagine the fear I would have felt if there was the threat that our court date would have been canceled because of one person’s senseless act. Thankfully as of this morning we have not heard of any canceled court dates. Also, I didn’t realize until this past weekend the extent to which I long to complete our family with a little boy or girl from that area of the world. Of course we knew we ‘wanted’ to, but the doubts I was having about whether or not it was worth the heartache and trouble have disappeared. There is no doubt this is what we desire for our family.
I was really thinking this morning on my way to the YMCA that I needed to find some glimmer of hope that somehow things would be ok. Of course my mind knows that in the end – no matter what – ‘things’ work out, but I want them to work out on MY terms and on MY timing. I still have sooooo much growth to do in the ‘relinquishing control’ area of my life. I have no doubt that this isn’t the last of the trials we will face during this process. But for today, I am going to cling to this glimmer of hope that arrived in my email inbox this morning! Our dear ‘angel’ in Vlad stated that she got confirmation that in spite of the last event with the boy the agency will keep working. There are not expecting a negative effect on the adoption process – at least not yet. So for today that is what I will focus on. The hope that God is at work in this situation and that there are enough compassionate people in powerful positions that will see what is best for the children.