Saturday, April 10, 2010

Anger Building Up

I have been trying real hard to not let overwhelmingly negative thoughts consume me during the past 24 hours. The whole situation surrounding one lady’s poor choice (read entry below if you don’t know what I am referring to) is threatening to affect the possibility of thousands of children finding a forever family. Yesterday I found myself giving the lady grace in my mind. My heart kinda hurt for her that she would get to such a point of desperation that she would do something so irrational. As I have learned various facts I find that I am getting angrier. Besides her final act of betrayal, one thing that bothers me is that in her January post placement report she did not indicate to her caseworker that there were any problems. As far as anyone knows at this point she did not reach out to various organizations for help. If she did reach out and people ignored her, that is such a sad thing. But the point being there were soooo many other steps that should have crossed her mind to take to help her son.

For my own mental health and because I am working real hard on ‘changing my attitude’ I need to stop reading some of the internet commentary about this situation. Our blogging friend Amy has an entry that has some of the rhetoric that is being thrown out about international adoptions. No matter what anyone thinks about the adoption process or where a child comes from – if you have compassion at all - you have to know that a child growing up in an orphanage is never going to be better than having a forever family.
I sit here brokenhearted, frustrated, worried, skeptical….

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

I was very discouraged as well when I read that she had just had a post-placement visist 3 months ago.....I would love to pick her brain to see what she was thinking. I'm so sad that the Russian government would even consider halting adoptions....I will never understand what these countries are thinking. I saw how upset you were at church and I wanted to give you a hug, but I was afraid I would start sobbing for you and that certainly would not have I'm so sorry for the stress and confusion this is causing and I'm sorry that ONE person's decision can negatively effect the awesomeness of having a "forever family". I will continue to pray.