Monday, June 21, 2010

Aren’t you excited?

A couple of different people have asked us this question in a couple of different ways. People wonder why we don’t seem as excited about this adoption as we did with Blake’s. Or why my blog entries are not as heartfelt and full of emotion. Or why we aren’t talking about it all of the time (like we did the last time). You know the phrase “ignorance is bliss.” I believe for us that is true. With Blake’s adoption we had absolutely no idea what to expect. Each and every step was a new adventure – a new hurdle. We had no idea what was ahead of us so with each hurdle we felt like the finish line what right around the corner. We eventually learned that the hurdles and hoops just keep coming and coming. Now that we have lived through that process, we are cautious to get our hopes up. There is no possible way we can function in our day to day lives if we get consumed by the emotions of this process already. We are very excited. We can’t wait to lay our eyes on the little one God is preparing for our family. But our guard is up – and it will probably stay up until we receive our referral. And even then – it will be tempting to leave the guard up because we remember all too well the heartache that comes with waiting between trips one and two.

As an example here is a blog entry from last week that I read. Now this situation may have happened before but I have never heard of this happening. This couple is adopting from a different region that we are, but still… I just can’t imagine.

Our Stories of Day-to-Day Life

Sorry for being absent for a while! Things were crazy as we appeared in court Tuesday and then had to prepare to be picked up very early on Wednesday to travel home. Essentially, we have a bit more waiting time ahead.

The judge declined to issue a final decision in our appeal to adopt. She decided she would like us to come back in a few weeks in July to meet with the girls again and for a final court date. While it was a somewhat surprising turn of events, we fully understand that things remain very sensitive and in flux with relations between the two countries because of recent events. An incredibly tough process is informally now even tougher and we have no choice but to accept the court's mandates and do whatever we need to do.

So this couple went back for their court date after months of waiting to bring their two girls home and they are told they will have to wait a bit longer. Ok I can feel my blood pressure beginning to rise as I have so much I would like to say along these lines, but now is not the time.

We have complete 5 weeks of waiting for DCFS approval of our homestudy. Perhaps another 2 weeks left for that piece. We have completed course 5 (Effects of Stress in Early Life) and course 6 (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) so that means we have 4 more to go (for now).

1 comment:

MJTG said...

I think your blog postings are great and I fully appreciate how you have to keep your emotions to a managable level.

I too read that other blog posting and almost needed to go to the ER for stitches in my tongue because I was biting back the words. We adopted from that particular region 2 years ago and our first judge sounds like the one currently there - we had a fortunate change of judges for our court appearance ( also following a very sad post-adoption happening!! )

Now -- here is what I can provide for our re-adoption in the US. Ours was today and it was very much a happy, family event. There were a couple other families there too (domestic & international). We stood as a family before the magistrate and all agreed to be a forever family - picture moment. Then we got to go behind the bench for a second time and the kids got to stamp their 'going home' decree with the state seal stamper. The certified decree and new birth certificates will follow in a month or so.

Also, for the russian post-placement report, there are additional questions being asked as well as the social worker was told to have the meeting at our house -- instead of a park where the kids can run around. (she has to see their bedrooms) Now we only have one more report for next year.

Good luck with your addition to your family. It will happen in its own time.